


Mr. Boddy's Profile – Airbnb

by oxymora (oxymoron)



Category: Clue | Cluedo (Board Game)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-07 15:51:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5462288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxymoron/pseuds/oxymora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A selection of the Airbnb reviews of Boddy Mansion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elegant_graffiti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegant_graffiti/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, elegant_graffiti! I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Accessibility/readability note: This work contains graphical elements and is not optimized for mobile view. A plain-text version can be found in chapter 3.


	2. Chapter 2

---  
  
  
Col. Mustard

| 

As an old family friend, I have often stayed at Boddy Mansion as the kind of guest whom you do not present with a bill at the end of the visit. Old Boddy and I went on many a hunting trip in those woods. Now that his son has taken over the estate, I can add a different kind of privilege to my list: being the first paying guest. And what a price it was! I had no idea that my visits over the years were such a drain on the Boddy finances. Well, the staff is still exceptional, especially of course Mrs. White, the family housekeeper. We had a good long chat about the way things have changed and what our world is coming to. John, my boy, I will follow your new career with great interest. You may expect me to be back very soon, and I’ll be sure to bring my gun!

From Winchester, United Kingdom · September 2015

* * *  
  
  
Lisa

| 

My boyfriend and I are on a road trip across the UK and this place caught our eye as we are always looking for something a little different. It’s an actual mansion, guys, complete with ballroom, billiard room, library, an actual butler and a housekeeper! Just have a look at the gorgeous floor plan that’s included with the pictures. That thing is for real! And Mr. Boddy is THE BEST! Such a sweet, old school gentleman. I know that it’s a little pricey by Airbnb standards, but let’s be real, any decent hotel room costs the same and you should totally check it out, it’s really unique.

From Boston, MA · September 2015

* * *  
  
  
Mrs. Peacock

| 

My niece introduced me to Airbnb and I am eternally grateful she did, because where else would I have found such a gem? I extended my booking for a whole week. It brought me back to the good old days when people knew how to treat a lady. I feel like I really got to know Mr. Boddy during my stay, we had an instant connection. He is such a personable young man. I have to say, I wouldn't mind staying permanently at such a charming place!

From London, United Kingdom· October 2015

* * *  
  
  
Scarlet

| 

John, thank you for a wonderful weekend! It was magical! I’ll be in touch. Love, Scarlet. PS: I think I forgot my bracelet. Can you look for it or maybe ask Mrs. White if she saw it when she cleaned the room?

From New York City, NY · November 2015

* * *  
  
  
Jamal

| 

Mr Boddy is a great host and I highly recommend this place! It’s huge, though. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever to get from one room to the next. It’s also pretty remote, and my phone reception wasn’t always stable. I wish they’d install wifi for guests!

From Manchester, United Kingdom · October 2015

* * *  
  
  
Jennifer

| 

We had a great time at Boddy Mansion! Who wouldn’t, at a place that has its own butler and cook?! And Mr. Boddy was the perfect host. Just one thing, be careful if you arrive after dark as the manor is pretty far from the main road and the driveway is badly lit.

From Riverside, CA · October 2015

* * *  
  
  
Prof. Plum

| 

Boddy Mansion is a treasure trove for connoisseurs of early Elizabethan architecture, and I venture that the foundations of the house are even older. Sadly Mr. Boddy himself doesn’t seem to know or care much about the family history, but the housekeeper has apparently been working there for quite some time and she hinted at some surprises that can be found in the cellar. I’ll get to the bottom of this if it kills me!

From Oxford, United Kingdom · November 2015

* * *  
  
  
Shawn

| 

Went to impress the GF, and that sure worked! The housekeeper is kinda creepy, though. You should see her with a paring knife... Or maybe better not. But Mr. Boddy is THE MAN! Thx, Mr. Boddy!

From London, United Kingdom · November 2015

* * *  
  
  
Mr. Green

| 

Chose this place because of favorable past reviews. I have had a busy schedule lately, so I wanted to treat myself to a quiet night in the countryside and enjoy the feeling of being in a real manor. Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Positive points: Descriptions of the interior, service, facilities and amenities are correct. Staff were generally friendly and helpful, and provided good service. My room on the second floor was comfortable and clean, and they provided fresh bathrobes, towels, slippers and toiletries. However, and here we come to the negative, they seem to book the place to the limit these days which detracts from the overall experience. During my stay there were four other guests there – all of them complete weirdos, if you ask me. What kind of person over the age of 50 wears a purple velvet suit? Several of them seemed to be regulars, so I guess that generally speaks for the place, although I’m not sure that these are the kinds of guests I’d prefer to have. I also never met the host that all of the other reviews raved about, so that was really disappointing. Instead, just as I’m getting out of the shower, there’s some hysterical screaming from the main hall and it turns out that Mr. Boddy is dead. Way to kill the mood! I immediately suspected Velvet Suit – with the candlestick in the hall, obviously –, but that turned out to be incorrect. All of us, including the housekeeper, spent the rest of the evening running from room to room accusing each other. I still have no idea what happened, really, except that I tripped and fell over the rope while demonstrating how Mrs. White could have done it in the ballroom when all of us were changing. I’m still convinced that that’s what really happened, although apparently it was Mrs. Peacock in the library with the knife. No idea why, though. So that was my quiet weekend. Wouldn’t recommend.

From London, United Kingdom · December 2015


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plain text version

#### Airbnb listing: Historic Boddy Mansion

Sway, United Kingdom  
Private room · 6 Guests · 6 Beds  
  


##### About this listing

Luxurious manor house located in a scenic location in Hampshire. Staff includes butler and housekeeper. Private bedroom and bathromm, free use of all rooms on the ground floor.  
  


##### Guest Access

Guest have access to their own room and bathromm as well as all rooms on the first floor and the grounds. Cellar is off limits to gests!  
  


##### Interaction with Guests

I take pride in providing every comfort to my guests. Please consult Mrs. White, the housekeeper, for all your needs.  
  


##### House Rules

Dignified, quiet, and orderly  
  


##### Availability

1 night minimum stay  
  


#### Airbnb profile: Mr. Boddy

##### Hey, I'm Mr. Boddy!

England, United Kingdom · Member since August 2015  
I have recently inherited a mansion and plan to turn it into an intimate first-clas hotel with the help of Airbnb.  


##### Reviews (9)

Reviews From Guests

Col. Mustard

As an old family friend, I have often stayed at Boddy Mansion as the kind of guest whom you do not present with a bill at the end of the visit. Old Boddy and I went on many a hunting trip in those woods. Now that his son has taken over the estate, I can add a different kind of privilege to my list: being the first paying guest. And what a price it was! I had no idea that my visits over the years were such a drain on the Boddy finances. Well, the staff is still exceptional, especially of course Mrs. White, the family housekeeper. We had a good long chat about the way things have changed and what our world is coming to. John, my boy, I will follow your new career with great interest. You may expect me to be back very soon, and I’ll be sure to bring my gun!

From Winchester, United Kingdom · September 2015

* * *

Lisa

My boyfriend and I are on a road trip across the UK and this place caught our eye as we are always looking for something a little different. It’s an actual mansion, guys, complete with ballroom, billiard room, library, an actual butler and a housekeeper! Just have a look at the gorgeous floor plan that’s included with the pictures. That thing is for real! And Mr. Boddy is THE BEST! Such a sweet, old school gentleman. I know that it’s a little pricey by Airbnb standards, but let’s be real, any decent hotel room costs the same and you should totally check it out, it’s really unique.

From Boston, MA · September 2015

* * *

Mrs. Peacock

My niece introduced me to Airbnb and I am eternally grateful she did, because where else would I have found such a gem? I extended my booking for a whole week. It brought me back to the good old days when people knew how to treat a lady. I feel like I really got to know Mr. Boddy during my stay, we had an instant connection. He is such a personable young man. I have to say, I wouldn't mind staying permanently at such a charming place!

From London, United Kingdom· October 2015

* * *

Scarlet

John, thank you for a wonderful weekend! It was magical! I’ll be in touch. Love, Scarlet. PS: I think I forgot my bracelet. Can you look for it or maybe ask Mrs. White if she saw it when she cleaned the room?

From New York City, NY · November 2015

* * *

Jamal

Mr Boddy is a great host and I highly recommend this place! It’s huge, though. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever to get from one room to the next. It’s also pretty remote, and my phone reception wasn’t always stable. I wish they’d install wifi for guests!

From Manchester, United Kingdom · October 2015

* * *

Jennifer

We had a great time at Boddy Mansion! Who wouldn’t, at a place that has its own butler and cook?! And Mr. Boddy was the perfect host. Just one thing, be careful if you arrive after dark as the manor is pretty far from the main road and the driveway is badly lit.

From Riverside, CA · October 2015

* * *

Prof. Plum

Boddy Mansion is a treasure trove for connoisseurs of early Elizabethan architecture, and I venture that the foundations of the house are even older. Sadly Mr. Boddy himself doesn’t seem to know or care much about the family history, but the housekeeper has apparently been working there for quite some time and she hinted at some surprises that can be found in the cellar. I’ll get to the bottom of this if it kills me!

From Oxford, United Kingdom · November 2015

* * *

Shawn

Went to impress the GF, and that sure worked! The housekeeper is kinda creepy, though. You should see her with a paring knife... Or maybe better not. But Mr. Boddy is THE MAN! Thx, Mr. Boddy!

From London, United Kingdom · November 2015

* * *

Mr. Green

Chose this place because of favorable past reviews. I have had a busy schedule lately, so I wanted to treat myself to a quiet night in the countryside and enjoy the feeling of being in a real manor. Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Positive points: Descriptions of the interior, service, facilities and amenities are correct. Staff were generally friendly and helpful, and provided good service. My room on the second floor was comfortable and clean, and they provided fresh bathrobes, towels, slippers and toiletries. However, and here we come to the negative, they seem to book the place to the limit these days which detracts from the overall experience. During my stay there were four other guests there – all of them complete weirdos, if you ask me. What kind of person over the age of 50 wears a purple velvet suit? Several of them seemed to be regulars, so I guess that generally speaks for the place, although I’m not sure that these are the kinds of guests I’d prefer to have. I also never met the host that all of the other reviews raved about, so that was really disappointing. Instead, just as I’m getting out of the shower, there’s some hysterical screaming from the main hall and it turns out that Mr. Boddy is dead. Way to kill the mood! I immediately suspected Velvet Suit – with the candlestick in the hall, obviously –, but that turned out to be incorrect. All of us, including the housekeeper, spent the rest of the evening running from room to room accusing each other. I still have no idea what happened, really, except that I tripped and fell over the rope while demonstrating how Mrs. White could have done it in the ballroom when all of us were changing. I’m still convinced that that’s what really happened, although apparently it was Mrs. Peacock in the library with the knife. No idea why, though. So that was my quiet weekend. Wouldn’t recommend.

From London, United Kingdom · December 2015


End file.
